WHY IS QUITTING CIGARETTES SO HARD?

Hey amazing Quit tribe.

This week I have been repeatedly asked to please explain the psychology around smoking.

Many of my clients tell me that smoking helps them relax, that cigarettes are their best friends are there for them through thick and thin, through all the good times and the bad.

That when they feel lonely they can have a cigarettes and it makes them feel less alone, that when they feel stressed or overwhelmed reaching for a cigarette helps them feel more calm and relaxed. That no matter what they are going through in life cigarettes are a constant anchor and source of solace for them, that in the past when they have tried to quit cold turkey or using NRT (nicotine replacement therapy) these feeling and emotions are still present.

In fact when you think about it, if smoking cigarettes were purely a nicotine addiction then EVERYONE who went on NRT would succeed in quitting cigarettes because although you are not smoking you are receiving the nicotine through patches or gum and would not feel the need to smoke AT ALL. Yet you still do.

This leaves us with the psychology the emotional connection to cigarettes and smoking.

Its my belief that as a society instead of allowing and alchemising feelings we have been taught to use external stimulants or activities to avoid or numb uncomfortable feelings.

As children if we cried or were hurt an adult would say "heres an ice-cream, a lolly a new toy", or they would distract us by tickling us, taking us to the park or some other activity.

Rarely are we taught to sit in the sadness, frustration, anger, loneliness, fear, anxiety - to completely absorb, move through and alchemise these feelings.

As we get older perhaps we use food to numb our feelings, chocolate when we're sad, cake when we're lonely, chips when we're bored.

There's this almost constant searching for something or someone to fill a void or erase un uncomfortable sensation.

Being a certified Quit Cigarettes Specialist for 15 years I see this with cigarettes as well.

Teenagers start smoking cigarettes to fill a void of insecurity, of feeling unworthy of not good enough ness, smoking makes them feel cool, amazing, like they fit in.

Yet when we grow up and realise we are enough just. as. we. are. and we decide to quit cigarettes, we may do well for a day or 2 until we feel sad, depressed, angry, lonely or bored and that trusty cigarette habit is no longer available to us the urge becomes too great and we cave in and smoke.

Im not going to lie, the natural solution may be confronting, to sit with that loneliness, to cry, scream and rage through those long pushed down feelings can be equally difficult and terrifying yet on the other side of that loneliness is peace, the other side of anger is immense joy.

The peace and freedom you feel in allowing destabilising emotions to release from your body is one of the most wonderful freeing experiences ever.

The realisation that you didn't need a cigarette to reach this state of bliss, that this inner calm was and is within you is one of the all time greatest acts of self love.

So next time you feel an emotion that de-stailises you, that feels yucky, be still, sit with it, use your breath, in through the nose out through your nose, in for the count of 3 out to the count of 6, lengthen your exhale, move from sympathetic dominance to the calmer state of parasympathetic nervous system, sit right in the middle of your emotions and allow them to completely wash right through you (reach out to a friend/family member/qualified practitioner to help/sit with you if you feel like you need the extra support) and enjoy the absolute bliss peace and joy that awaits you on the other side.

I believe in you

with love,

Rochelle

Quit Cigarettes Specialis